CHEEKY (added 22.08.10)
Why is it that the thing you most want to hide or are self-conscious about is the thing that always gets exposed the most.
Take for example; my ass! Ladies, you know what I mean. It’s the end of winter, too much comfort food and things are jiggling a little too much for your liking. You suddenly realise there is a little too much junk in your trunk!
My life as an exhibitionist began about the same time I started teaching body balance; allow me to let the irony unfold:
As I left work early one day, proudly proclaiming I was leaving to practise a balance routine, I tripped over absolutely nothing, went flying through the air, landing on my front with my dress up around my armpits and my fluro yellow undies proudly on show, I smiled to myself that there was no one around to witness my humility.
Sadly my grazed knees, the blood running down my arm and the carpet burn on my elbows had to be explained to my work colleagues some how.
The following week as I was rushing to get changed into my gym clothes in my lunch-break, I dropped my G-string on the floor at the precise moment a man on the floor walked past. After some awkward silence, with eyes looking from the undies, to me, back to the undies, I quickly picked up my undies and my remaining shreds of dignity and I ran.
Oh no my friends, the fun does not stop there – and anyone who knows me, knows I do not do things by halves. My ass had decided why stop the humiliation with the undies and if they are getting shown to the world, my ass was clearly feeling left out.
As I was up on stage at the gym last night, I look in the mirror and realise that my ass was hanging out – not just a little plumbers crack – but almost the whole thing. Every time I would do a squat out would pop my ass – proudly jiggling for all the gym to see.
At the end of the day, if you can’t laugh at yourself and learn not to embarrass easily then life will get you down!